


Precipitous

by mongoose_bite



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Gen, Keith is awkward, kolivan is terribly awkward, providing the emotional resolution canon does not, s04 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-20 01:08:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12421887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mongoose_bite/pseuds/mongoose_bite
Summary: Kolivan knows orbital decay when he sees it, and knows if too much force is applied to correct it the object will be flung into space, unrecoverable. Nevertheless, he resolves to try. After the events at Naxzela someone needs to talk to Keith.





	Precipitous

**Author's Note:**

> After season four I really had to do something. [Meteorysh](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Meteorysh/pseuds/Meteorysh) had this idea first though, and there can never be enough of it as far as I'm concerned. Check her fic out [here.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12377784)

Kolivan had not been given a chance to see Prince Lotor, and he rather hoped he never would. The Blade had to remain a secret from the fugitive prince, and thus he and the rest of his team were sequestered away in some far flung quarter of the castle and would remain there for as long as Lotor was aboard.

Lotor raised several problems, and Kolivan had lots of thoughts about him, but for now he would leave it up to the Paladins and Coran to handle him. If they wanted his advice, they knew where he was, and until then further speculation as to the substance of Prince’s offer and how genuine it was was pointless.

He had something else he needed to focus on first.

Something he hardly felt qualified for.

He wasn't sure if the other Paladins had understood exactly what Keith had been planning to do in the final seconds before the planet’s detonation; they were focused on their own troubles. Kolivan, however, had been forced to sit idle by the comms and he’d immediately understood Keith's intention to sacrifice himself.

He supposed he owed Lotor his thanks for what happened next, although he wasn't planning on expressing it.

If he was honest, Kolivan wasn’t sure how he was going to handle this, but he owed it to Keith, to everyone, to try and make things right, because something was clearly wrong with the newest member of the Blade.

Keith was sitting on the bed in his assigned room, and he looked up sharply when the door opened. Kolivan couldn't read the human nuances of his expression; he could tell Keith wasn't surprised to see him, but couldn't tell if he was disappointed he wasn't one of his human friends instead.

“Anything from Lotor?” he asked. He'd tensed up, ready to go back into action at a moment's notice.

“No.”

Kolivan let the door slide shut behind him. He didn't want to loom over Keith, but sitting next to him on the bed seemed condescending and over-familiar. He wasn't his parent. Obviously. That was probably part of the problem; a parent might have some clue how to handle this.

He compromised and sat down the end of the bed, Keith looking at him warily from under his bangs, presumably expecting a lecture. Kolivan was tempted to give him one, but he wasn't sure it was the right approach. What the quiznak was the right approach?

“Explain to me,” he began. “What you thought you were doing out there.”

He didn't need to specify. They both knew what he was talking about.

“I had to do something,” Keith said, defensive. “Voltron, the Blade, the entire rebel fleet and millions of innocent people would have died if the bomb had gone off.” His fists were clenched in his lap, his head bowed.

“It's true we owe our survival to an incredible stroke of luck. Keith, if concentrated laser fire couldn't make a dent in those shields, what made you think the impact of a single galra fighter would?”

“I had nothing else!” He turned to him. “I was out of options and I had no other choice. You said yourself a Blade must be prepared to die. I didn't _want_ to do it.”

“I know,” Kolivan said. “If I thought you truly wanted to die I wouldn't let you take another mission. But I need to make certain you won't throw your life away regardless.” Kolivan looked at him. “Make no mistake, you _were_ throwing your life away.”

He could see Keith resisting the urge to argue, scowling instead.

“What should I have done then?”

“Nothing. You were right; there was nothing else you could have done, other than survive and see what happened next. One Blade surviving is infinitely better than none.”

“Yeah.” Keith lifted his head, setting his jaw, his eyes as hard as steel. “I understand, Leader. I won't let it happen again.”

Kolivan looked at him for a long moment, his eyes narrowing. This young man looked so old sometimes, as old as Kolivan felt. He could see him swapping burden of sacrifice for one of attempting to run a rebellion alone.

It was not what he wanted.

Kolian slumped forward, resting his forearms on his knees, his shoulders dropping. “I am not adequately explaining myself,” Kolivan admitted.

“I understand perfectly,” Keith said.

“You do not,” Kolivan retorted sharply. “Remember what I said about leaving people behind? I didn't say it because our lives aren't worth anything; I said it because they _are._ ” He bared his teeth in frustration. When was the last time he had to talk about anything in terms other than of warfare? Would Keith even believe him if he tried?

Keith had told him a little of his past life, and Kolivan was acutely aware of how hard he was trying to follow Kolivan's lead, and how rare an honour that was. Shiro was perhaps the only other who could command his obedience. Perhaps it should be Shiro here, not him; his human friends could surely understand him better.

Or maybe not. Kolivan had known enough half-galra to have some idea what it was like to fall between two worlds, two species. Keith's friends supported him, but Kolivan suspected that just made him more determined to shoulder his burdens alone.

Kolivan couldn't tell him he was not expendable. Everyone was expendable, ultimately. If the love of his friends couldn't hold him back, how could a galra he barely knew have a hope of saving him?

And it was about saving him; this had happened too often. Sooner rather than later Keith wouldn't come back from one of his suicide missions. Kolivan would miss him, and know he'd failed him.

Kolivan decided to try again. Keith was still listening to him for now at least.

“Why do you think it has to be you who must die first?”

“If someone has to do it, why shouldn’t it be me? I don’t get it, first you’re all ‘Knowledge or Death’ and we have to be prepared to die for the cause and now you’re trying to talk me out of it? Did Allura put you up to this?” Now he looked young; adolescent and petulant, saying things they both knew weren't true.

Kolivan didn't rise to the bait. In a fight, a hard edge is sometimes best met by yielding. “Keith, you attempted to uselessly throw your life away. Hasn’t it occurred to you that this worries me?”

Keith didn’t answer, eyeing him warily like it was some sort of trap. Well, he had no reason to expect anything better.

“You and the other Blades are not just resources to be moved around a battlefield. They are, were, my friends and companions. You are as well; I am proud to fight alongside you, as frustrating as your tactics are sometimes. And I seek to understand you, as clumsily as I’m attempting to do so.”

Keith’s expression softened a little. “Uh, thanks. It’s really okay, I’m just not really good with people. Human or galra.”

Kolivan could read that expression loud and clear; sheer awkwardness.

“Neither am I. It’s not a galra trait, if that’s what you’re wondering. Some of us are very garrulous.” He sighed. “I wish you could have known some of them better. Antok would have put this far more elegantly.”

“Hey, I appreciate that you’re trying.” Keith was leaning forward slightly, trying to look reassuring and wasn’t that a ridiculous twist to this conversation; Keith now trying to comfort him.

No. This wasn’t right. It wasn’t Keith’s responsibility to look after him or the rest of the universe.

Kolivan refused to give up on him.

“Keith, listen to me. You have a choice about this, all of this.” He waved his hand to encompass the entire universe. “I could even get you back to Earth, if you wanted.” He held up his hand as Keith drew breath to interrupt. “I know, you don’t want to go. But if you did, what you've done already would be enough. You’ve been the best at what you set your mind to for a long time. I know how hard you fight, and how hard you push yourself, and I’m saying you don’t have to wear yourself to nothing. Not even for the sake of the universe. You can stop, sometimes, and leave it to others. To me. Or Lotor—but try not to make a habit of that.”

“Was that a joke?” Keith sounded strange, not just incredulous but sort of strangled, his eyes bright.

“I’m afraid so.” They were getting off track. “Keith, let me take responsibility, whatever the consequences. Set the burden down. I will take it up as best I can, I promise.”

“What if you die?” He sounded like he would miss him if he did.

“Then you can deride me for being fool enough to get myself killed. Death is something I'm quite prepared for.”

“Well, don’t die.”

“I’ll try not to. And you better do the same, do you understand?”

Keith nodded. He was holding himself rigidly, staring at the floor.

“Keith?”

“I’m-” His shoulders shook.

Kolivan relaxed slightly. There it was, finally starting to sink in just how close he’d come to dying. A delayed reaction was not a surprise. Kolivan wasn’t sure how humans dealt with that sort of thing, so he reached out, hand open, palm raised, and just extended his hand into Keith’s line of vision. It was the least threatening gesture he could think of.

“It’s all right,” he said. “I’m here. If you’d prefer I wasn’t-”

Keith shook his head violently and grabbed his hand. He didn’t seem to have any idea what to do with it either, just squeezing Kolivan's long, clawed fingers.

“Why am I scared _now_?” he asked in a whisper.

“Because you couldn’t afford to be before. But you’re safe now.”

“Am I?”

“I'll do my best to see to it.”

Keith gripped his hand and pulled on it slightly, and Kolivan went, shifting rather awkwardly into his space and Keith leaned into him. He was so small Kolivan had to remind himself that Keith was supposed to be fully grown.

Kolivan wrapped his other arm around him and that seemed to be the right thing to do because Keith released his hand and returned the gesture with both arms, pressing his face against Kolivan’s tunic, still shaking.

Kolivan wondered if Keith knew what it was to be protected; support wasn’t enough. Someone had to pull you back sometimes for your own good, take the hits for you. Keith almost got away without it; so skilled, so strong, so determined to help his friends, over and over. Refusing to bend until he broke.

Kolivan ran his claws through Keith’s hair, some old instinct surfacing, and he couldn’t say it was unpleasant, even though he felt suffused with melancholy and, strangely, pride. Keith was warm and alive, and Kolivan wanted to keep him that way as best he could, and he squeezed him tighter.

“Thank you for trusting me,” Kolivan said eventually, when Keith had stopped shaking and sniffling, and was just breathing again.

“Mm.” Things would be different now between them. Whether Keith understood it or not, he was Kolivan’s now in some way. Kin, perhaps. Or a poor substitute for the same.

I'll try, he promised silently.

Keith clung to him, fingers hooked into the folds of his tunic and his cheek to Kolivan's chest even after he fell asleep, and Kolivan saw no reason to wake him.

 


End file.
